24 Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not defeat him, he struck Jacob’s hip socket as they wrestled and dislocated his hip. 26 Then he said to Jacob, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” – Genesis 32:24–26 (CSB)
Recently, I felt the Lord asking us to open our home every day at 5 AM for people to come and begin their day by beholding the Lord in prayer and worship. We obeyed Him despite it seeming to be a bit daunting, and He faithfully gave us the grace to wake up and open our home each morning for 4 straight weeks.
Most mornings we would have 10-15 people join us from the ministry school and various congregations in the area. The Holy Spirit would lead us differently each morning, with some mornings resulting in the sound of loud praise and singing carrying out into the neighborhood surrounding our home as the sun began to rise.
I’ve never felt so close to the Lord and so full of the Spirit on a sustained basis as I did in these 4 weeks, and we saw incredible fruit in the lives of many of the people who joined us during this time. As we realized this season of daily corporate prayer was ending, a leader in the church shared a prophetic word with me that he believed God wanted to dislocate my hip like Jacob.
As soon as he shared the word with me, I immediately sensed that it was in fact an accurate description of what the Lord wanted to do. As I read Jacob’s story in Genesis again, I was struck by Jacob’s resolve to not let go of God even after getting a dislocated hip.
As amazing as these 4 weeks of early morning corporate prayer were, I knew that stopping them shouldn’t result in me experiencing less of God even if it looks differently now. I resolved like Jacob that I will not let go of God. I had tasted and seen something of Him that had brought me to even deeper levels of love, devotion, and surrender to Him.
Little did I know what the following 2 weeks would look like. Our whole family was immediately challenged in our health in various ways. I often pray Psalm 139:23 which reads – Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Well, the Lord revealed many anxious thoughts within me during these health challenges. We felt like we were under immense spiritual attack. By God’s grace I persevered in praying and drawing close to God, even when He now felt much more distant than in the weeks prior.
I clung to His faithful promises. I clung to the truth of His Word. I clung to the truth of who He is. And I clung most importantly – to Him. And I believe that because I persevered through these challenges, God has strengthened me, increased my faith, and made me more into His image to prepare me for where He will lead us in the future to the glory of His name.
I will not let go of God. I will throw off every hindrance that stands between me and Him – from being aware of Him, His voice, His presence, and from being obedient to His Word and His ways.
He is worthy of it all, and He will have His glory.